Blog.

One month of Lucy

I can't believe my sweet Lucy girl is already one MONTH old!!! I'm still trying to wrap my head around how that is possible. It's been a fun month getting to know our girl and watch her grow and change so much already in just four short weeks. I've been told she's only considered a newborn for the first month, but I'm going to consider her one until she grows out of her newborn clothes... which will probably be any day now but let's not talk about that! :)  So here's Lucy at one month...

Stats: we don't go back to the doctor until next week, but I weighed her a few days ago at home and she was almost 9 pounds!! I guess I was in denial because I seriously thought she was probably still around 7 something pounds.

She's still in newborn size clothes and diapers... but I think she'll be out of the newborn diapers soon. Most of the clothes still fit pretty good - probably because a lot of them were too big when she was born! - but I'm sure she'll be out of those in no time, too.

Sleepwise, she's kind of all over the place during the day. We joke that she has a serious case of FOMO (fear of missing out) because she fights her naps hard already. But for the past week or so she's been sleeping pretty good at night, ever since we moved her from the bassinet to the rock & play sleeper. She would NOT sleep in the bassinet but the rock & play seems to be the answer! She usually goes to bed anywhere between 10 and midnight and sleeps until between 6 and 8am, waking up once around 3:30 to eat. So I really can't complain! 

Nursing has been going pretty great. The first couple days (while still in the hospital) I was really stressed out about it because I felt like she wasn't getting anything - mostly because they had me try pumping and nothing would come out, so I felt like she must not be getting anything either. They assured me that was normal since the milk doesn't come in until sometime between days 2 and 5, but that the baby was definitely getting enough. I felt much better once we went for our 2nd weight check when she was 5 days old and she had gained 3.5oz in 2 days and they said that was AMAZING. I literally cried I was so happy! I still don't get a ton when I pump, but I also don't pump as much as I probably should (I just hate doing it!) She does take a bottle fine though, and doesn't seem to care what kind of nipple it is as long as milk is coming out of it. On the other hand, she will NOT take a pacifier. I'm kind of fine with that since it will be less to take away from her later on, but it would be nice if she could soothe herself sometimes.

She loves to be held and snuggled. She loves to play on her activity mat. She loves to be swaddled (and Daddy does the best swaddle!) She doesn't seem to care much either way for her swing... she's fine with it when she's awake and happy, but if she's fussy it doesn't do much for her. And she hates her car seat if the car isn't moving! 

We're working on loving bath time... I thought I'd prefer giving her a bath in the kitchen sink, but she screamed the whole time. I've since given her a bath a couple times in the bathtub and she still cries, but it seems to be less each time. I'm hoping she will eventually learn to love baths! 

Christmas...

Lucy's first Christmas, to be exact!

We had a bit of a bow malfunction (rookie mistake!) but we had to take Lucy to see Santa for her first Christmas!

Christmas was, what.. 3 weeks ago now, and I still haven't written about it? Such is life with a newborn, right?! ;) But better late than never! 

She has changed everything. Because of her, this year I didn't dread Christmas... for the first time in 15 years. And I can only imagine it will get better as she grows up. When I found out I was having a Christmas baby, I know this sounds cliche but I knew she was a gift from God. I never would have chosen a December birthday for my baby, but she couldn't have come at a more perfect time. For the past 15 years, December has been the worst month for me.. and I dread Christmas every year because it's the last time I saw my Dad... but now the best day of my life is in December and it really has been the #bestChristmasever. Thank you, Lucy <3

It was a little surreal to have an extra stocking this year.

We had lots of visitors in the weeks after Lucy was born... including Cousin and Lucy's great-grandma Eileen. 

I love this picture! 4 generations!! So special :)

We also took Lucy on her first trip to North Vernon and she did great! She pretty much slept through the whole visit. 

I brought my real camera but forgot to put a memory card in it... apparently that's what happens when you don't get much sleep! ;) Thank goodness for iPhones! 

We had a great first Christmas with our little peanut - the best gift we could have asked for! Hope you all had a great one, too! 

Lucy's Birth Day

Alternate title: I can't believe I did that!

So I had a baby! Two whole weeks & a couple days ago now! How is that even possible?? 

I really could not have asked for a better labor and delivery experience. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, yet it really wasn't nearly as bad as I expected at the same time.... if that makes sense. ha! But it went about as perfectly as a birth can go, I think! I was so nervous about birthing a baby but if I knew it would always go the way it did I'd have 10 babies! Sorry for the crazy long post, but I want to remember all the details. :)

My contractions started around 6:45 Saturday night (the 12th). I remember thinking that some of them were a little uncomfortable, but as I'd been having contractions for literally months now, I really didn't think anything of it. I was still so convinced I'd be pregnant forever that I still really didn't think this was it. Once they kept on for a couple hours I started timing them. On average they were about 7-9 minutes apart, but some were 3-5 minutes and none were more than 12. I finally started thinking that this could possibly be real, and that if it was I should probably get some sleep because it would be a really long day.

Around 10 or 11 I tried to go to bed... and quickly realized that sleep was definitely not happening. I was way too uncomfortable. Josh finally went to bed around 12 or 1 to try to get a little sleep, but by 3:00 I was fairly convinced I was in labor so I woke him up again to get ready. I called my doctor, because I wasn't sure when I was supposed to go to the hospital, and he suggested taking a bath to help me relax & ease the pain, and also said if it was false labor it would probably stop in the tub.  Well, they didn't stop and by that point we had clocked an hour and a half of contractions about 3-5 minutes apart. Even with all these clues - now about 9 hours of consistent contractions that were getting closer together and more intense, plus the fact that it was my due date - I was still half way convinced that it wasn't real labor and we'd get to the hospital and they'd laugh at me and tell me to go home. 

We decided to head to the hospital at 5am. The nurse checked me and said I was only 2cm dilated. They called my doctor who said to let me walk around for an hour and see if that progressed things, but said they'd most likely send me home to labor until things got more intense. At least I knew I was really in labor, so I was kind of excited about going home because I hadn't eaten anything since dinner the night before and was hoping to grab some breakfast on the way. Priorities. 

After my hour of walking was up, our new nurse (thank the good Lord for shift changes - she was AMAZING and I'm so thankful she was my labor & delivery nurse!) checked me again and said I was 3-4cm, but she could "help me out" if I wanted to stay. "Stay?" I asked, (still contemplating whether or not I'd rather stay & get this party started or go home & get some breakfast). Apparently she didn't take it as a question though. All of a sudden she said I was 5cm and not going home because it's BABY DAY!  I cried when she said it was baby day! It all seemed to happen so fast and now it was real that we were going to meet our baby TODAY. So many emotions! They admitted us, we got a room, and they said Dr. Wright would be there soon to break my water. By this point it was probably around 8am. 

I requested a room with a tub because I knew I wanted to try to do it naturally. I went into it thinking I'd do as much as I could without any interventions, but was open to whatever had to happen to get my baby here safely. Obviously I had no idea what labor felt like, so if it got crazy and I needed an epidural, then great. It was just that the thought of someone jabbing a giant needle in my spine really freaked me out and I know several people who have had bad experiences with them that I wanted to avoid. Truth be told though, I honestly thought I'd end up getting an epidural.. I'm usually a giant wimp when it comes to pain. But I told my nurse (Kelly) my thoughts, and she said I could totally do it naturally if I wanted to - she said it's a mindset - and that she would do whatever she could to help me get there.

So, we got in our room and kind of just hung out for awhile waiting for the doctor. My mom showed up shortly after.. At this point the contractions were pretty painful, but I just held Josh's hand through them and concentrated on breathing correctly... Josh and Kelly would tell me to just take them 30 seconds at a time and then they would be over. Knowing that the pain wasn't going to last very long helped me get through them. Kelly also kept saying "pain = progress"... she told me each contraction was moving the baby down and helping her get ready, so knowing there was a purpose to it kept me focused. I was surprised by how much these two things really helped me.

After awhile, Dr. Wright still hadn't shown up to break my water (he had gone to church since it was Sunday morning!) so we were just progressing things along on our own. We walked the halls, I bounced on the birth ball, tried a million positions in the bed, we did squats... eventually Kelly came in and said after the next time I went to the bathroom, she wanted me to straddle the toilet backwards. I thought that was weird but did as she said, and next thing I know my water broke on its own! Holy crap this is happening! I remember being so happy that my body had done what it needed to do on its own, but was also really nervous because I knew that once the water broke things would get more intense. And they did.

My water broke sometime between 1 and 1:30pm. Kelly didn't want me to get in the tub until that happened, so once it did they started getting the tub ready for me. She said I could labor in the tub as long as I wanted to, but once I felt like pushing I had to get out because delivering in the tub wasn't allowed. I was about 7cm when I got in the tub and since she basically told me I could be in there until it was time to push, I figured I'd be in there awhile. The problem was, I couldn't get comfortable because I wasn't allowed to put my left hand in the water since it had the saline lock (an IV port in case of an emergency) in it. So even though the water helped ease the pain some, it was still awkward and uncomfortable. 

I'm not sure how long I was in the tub... it didn't feel like very long at all, but all of a sudden I got really hot and wanted out of the tub NOW. I was kind of nervous to get out since I knew the water helped with pain and I figured I still had several hours of laboring to do, but I just needed out right then. I figured I could always get back in later if I needed to. But then, Kelly checked me when I got out and said I was 10cm! 

I'm sorry, what?!?! I didn't even feel like pushing when I got out of the tub, I was just hot.. but all of a sudden she said all that was left to do was push! 

I'm not sure how long I pushed, all I know was that it was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my life. Once I started pushing I told Kelly that I literally couldn't do it. If someone had offered me a c-section at that point I probably would have taken them up on it. At one point I freaked out and tried to climb up the back of the bed backwards. I'm surprised I didn't kick anyone in the face.

Josh finally told me to just commit to three good pushes. So I psyched myself up and committed (I really had no other choice... the baby had to come out somehow!) I started pushing really good and then they all yelled, "Stop!" because Dr. Wright wasn't in the room yet! 

I felt like her head was half way out and stopping was not an option. And really, at that point I couldn't have cared less who caught my baby!

Finally he came in and I yelled, "Hurry up, Dr. Wright!!!" and after maybe 3 or 4 good pushes, she was out! My mom said, "Look!!!!" (I think my eyes were closed!) and I remember thinking, "Oh my gosh, there really was a baby in there!" ha! (Because, you know, feeling the baby move in my belly for months, all the ultrasounds, and pre-natal check ups weren't enough proof! I swear, being pregnant is the most surreal and abstract experience... at least for me!) I think the first thing I asked was if anyone had paid attention to what time it was when she came out! haha

The funny thing is, I've already forgotten what the pain of labor and pushing her out felt like... I know it was terrible, but the intense joy of meeting my baby for the first time was worth it 100 times over. 

Phew.. I look rough! Natural labor & delivery is no joke!!

We did two hours of kangaroo care (skin to skin) with her right after she was born. I loved that our hospital did this automatically and we didn't have to specially request it. During this time they also helped us get started with breastfeeding. 

After the two hours of kangaroo care, they took her for her measurements and first bath.

Once all that was done, we had some visitors before we got moved to our regular room. 

It meant a lot to me that my family made the trip down to see Lucy on the day she was born! 

I also have to say... I knew Josh would be a good dad, but he's really been more amazing than I could have dreamed of. I only changed one diaper in her first three days of life.. and he continued to change most of them while he was off work. I keep calling him a "peanut hog" because he is always wanting to hold her, carry her car seat, change her clothes/diapers, etc.. sometimes I feel like if his boobs produced milk I'd never get to hold her! Sometimes it drives me crazy, but I'm so thankful that Lucy has a daddy who genuinely loves her and wants to spend time with her. He'd also had a stomach bug the week before and didn't feel very well the day she was born, but you would have never known it... he was the best birthing partner I could have asked for and I wouldn't have made it through without him! So thankful for him!

We love our little Lucy girl to the moon and back! 

Introducing... Lucy Eileen

AKA tiny peanut! 

Lucy Eileen Adwell arrived right on time on her due date 12/13/15 at 3:07pm. She weighed 6lb 9.5oz and was 20 inches long (although at her first doctor appointment they said she was only 19 inches and that the hospital measurement isn't always accurate, which makes more sense to me since Josh and I are both pretty short. I was surprised we had such a long baby!)

My labor & delivery experience with her couldn't have been better and for that I am forever grateful. You may remember (since I only posted about it a million times) that I was so nervous about getting her out but it really was so much better than I expected, while simultaneously being the worst pain I've ever felt in my life at the same time. If that makes sense. Ha! I'm working on getting her entire birth story written up and will hopefully post it soon, but the short version of events is that I started having contractions Saturday night, we went to the hospital Sunday morning, and she was born Sunday afternoon. I credit Josh and our amazing nurse Kelly for the fact that I was able to do it naturally. 

My sweet girl is already 9 days old and they've been the best 9 days of my life.  Of course, life with a newborn is an adjustment but so far it really hasn't been anything too crazy. Usually if she's upset she either needs her diaper changed, her swaddle tightened, or food. Girlfriend eats like it's going out of style and for the first couple days I felt like I was a slave to my boobs. We're still learning but we've come a long way with breastfeeding. There were a few days early on where I was so emotional because I felt like I wasn't feeding her anything.. but then we went to the doctor for a weight check and she had gained 3.5oz in 2 days, which they said was absolutely amazing. Just like with her birth, I just have to relax and trust that my body knows what it's doing.

Josh and I take turns staying up with her at night (she likes to party all night and sleep all day!), so even though we're both getting less sleep at least we're getting 4-5 hour stretches at a time. I'm so thankful for him -- taking care of a newborn on my own would be a totally different story. I'm so happy that Lucy has a Daddy who genuinely wants to spend time with her and doesn't just do it out of obligation. In fact, I only changed 1 diaper in her first three days of life... he does almost everything except feed her but I'm pretty sure if his boobs produced milk I'd never get to hold her. 

We are totally smitten with our peanut and have already forgotten what life was like before she was here. Sometimes I just sit there and stare at her and wonder how I got so lucky. I can't believe she's mine.

Thank you all for all the congratulations and well wishes. We are feeling truly blessed. 

still pregnant.

38 weeks and 2 days.

My whole pregnancy I've honestly thought the baby would be born early. I was born 2 months early (at 32 weeks) and I'm pretty sure, if I remember right, that Josh was born a few weeks or a month early also. Plus we like to be early, punctual people in general... I hate being late to things. So it only makes sense that our daughter would be the same, right? 

Not that she's late yet or anything. 

And I'm actually glad we've made it to this point! I kept thinking... just get through October... and then once we made it to November I felt a lot better. Then once we made it to November 13th (a month before her due date) I felt a huge sigh of relief... and now... I feel great. She could be born at any time and she's considered full term! We did it, baby girl! 

Watch, she'll be late. (I hope not! If she's a week late her birthday will be right before Christmas and I feel bad enough that it's in December anyway! My poor Christmas baby! ha)

Anyway, here's what's going on at 38 weeks...

Maternity clothes? all day errrrrryday

Stretch marks?  I literally started getting some yesterday! What the heck! I made it this far. I'm trying to figure out how that happens! Seems like a cruel joke! ha! Thank you rapidly growing baby and Thanksgiving dinner. 

Sleep?: Sleep is actually getting a little better. The baby dropped a couple days ago, so I can finally breathe a little easier and eat again! It's been glorious!

Miss anything?: being able to tie my shoes?

Movement?: She's moving less these days because she's running out of room... it worried me for a bit, but all the apps say as long as there's some movement each day we're good. 

Food cravings: Lately it's been cookies & cream milkshakes from Chick Fil A!

Anything making you queasy or sick?: Nope

Labor signs: Still having Braxton Hicks every day, but not consistently. I was 1cm & 75% effaced last week at my appointment and was hoping for another cm or 2 today, but no such luck. She's definitely dropped though, and the doctor said she's moved down a "station" in the birth canal, so at least something's going on in there!

Symptoms: Feeling a lot better the past couple days since she's dropped. I can breathe and eat easier and seem to have less back pain also! Feeling pretty good!

Belly button in or out?: Still in. Suuuper stretched though!

Wedding rings off or on?: Still on!

Happy or moody?: Happy. I have had a couple random crying spells... but I suppose that's to be expected! haha

Best moment this month: Finishing the nursery! AND we actually got the office moved to the basement and the start of a playroom upstairs! I wasn't expecting to get this done before she was born, but my husband is awesome ;) (Also, I know she doesn't need a playroom for awhile, but I'm thinking I may sleep up there some once Josh goes back to work so he can get a decent night's sleep. We do have a guest room upstairs also, but I knew I wanted to turn that room into a playroom eventually anyway so we'd have a designated space for all of her toys, etc. so I'm glad we've gotten most of it done before she's born. For some reason I feel like things won't happen as quickly once she's here!) Josh has been "nesting" recently and while he swears he's just "getting things done" I'm pretty sure it's nesting. He usually doesn't do any of the cleaning, and he's been cleaning the most random things lately like the air vents, ceiling fans, and mirrors. I love it!

Looking forward to: Meeting our daughter!!! In just a matter of days!!! 

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So that is what we're up to... just playing a waiting game over here!