in love.

this morning was one of those mornings. nothing was going right. i had a list of things i wanted to do before work: put away the laundry, unload and reload the dishwasher, start a pot roast, workout, vacuum & mop the floor, & locate my shoe boxes full of my childhood photos.

i didn't have to go in until 11 today. i'm not that ambitious before 8:00am.

anyway...i got the dishes done, started the pot roast, and then went to locate the photos. i haven't been able to find them for a few years. i thought my mom had them somewhere, and she thought she had given them to me when she moved. we obviously communicate well ;)

so i located the few shoe boxes of old photos that i have, but the photos that i'm looking for aren't in there.

so then i remembered an old website i had on a self-hosted web account a few years ago where i had scanned and saved all the old images to. i let the account expire though when josh put my website on his hosting and i no longer needed it.

so i logged into the account and saw that 29,000+ of my old photos were still showing up as stored in the system. of course i couldn't see what the files were, but i knew i had several years' worth of photos stored on it before so i was hoping they'd be on there.

so i decided to take a chance and pay the $60 fee to renew the account and gain access to my old files. unfortunately, once the account was renewed it showed that only 17 files were uploaded.

AKA all of my old photos had long been deleted. :(

to make matters worse, the web hosting company would not cancel or refund my account and would not take the time to understand my situation at all. they were just all, "sorry, that's just the way it is. we can't help you."

so now i am praying to Jesus that my mom has these photos somewhere deep in her basement!

in the meantime, i just sat on the floor and cried (i am extra emotional when i am pmsing, which is now)
on the plus side, lola just licked my face because she's awesome. that girl always knows how to make her mama feel better.

all of that to say -- pictures are so important to me. they take you back to a time that you can't go to anymore, often a time with people who aren't around anymore. which is why i really want my old photos with my daddy!  if i do find the physical copies of them, i am going to make sure i archive them digitally as well and then make a damn good mental note of where the heck they are physically. and then i'm never moving again because crap always gets lost when you move.

but anyway, i love pictures. and i love these new pictures that our little family had done over the weekend.

it was the first time josh and i have had professional photos done by someone other than ourselves or a friend and i am in love with the results. also? the photographer and her fiance also call each other B! ha! except they spell it like "bee." but still. how awesome is that. they are totally photographing our wedding someday, it's meant to be. and no, these are not engagement pictures. my ring is on the wrong finger and lacking a diamond ;)
 

and in case you were wondering, i never did put the laundry away, get a workout in, or vacuum/mop the floor. hmph.

(sorry, honey! but i did make you a pot roast for dinner! ;))